Enter E. KNOWELL, with a letter in his hand, followed by
BRAINWORM.
E. Know. Did he open it, say'st thou?
Brai. Yes, O' my word, sir, and read the contents.
E. Know. That scarce contents me. What countenance, prithee, made
he in the reading of it? was he angry, or pleased?
Brai. Nay, sir, I saw him not read it, nor open it, I assure your
worship.
E. Know. No! how know'st thou then that he did either?
Brai. Marry, sir, because he charged me, on my life, to tell nobody
that he open'd it; which, unless he had done, he would never fear
to have it revealed.
E. Know. That's true: well, I thank thee, Brainworm.
Enter STEPHEN.
Step. O, Brainworm, didst thou not see a fellow here in
what-sha-call-him doublet? he brought mine uncle a letter e'en now.
Brai. Yes, master Stephen; what of him?
Step. O, I have such a mind to beat him—where is he, canst thou
tell?
Brai. Faith, he is not of that mind: he is gone, master Stephen.
Step. Gone! which way? when went he? how long since?
Brai. He is rid hence; he took horse at the street-door.
Step. And I staid in the fields! Whoreson scanderbag rogue! O that
I had but a horse to fetch him back again!
Brai. Why, you may have my master's gelding, to save your longing,
sir.
Step. But I have no boots, that's the spite on't.
Brai. Why, a fine wisp of hay, roll'd hard, master Stephen.
Step. No, faith, it's no boot to follow him now: let him e'en go
and hang. Prithee, help to truss me a little: he does so vex me—
Brai. You'll be worse vexed when you are trussed, master Stephen.
Best keep unbraced, and walk yourself till you be cold; your choler
may founder you else.
Step. By my faith, and so I will, now thou tell'st me on't: how
dost thou like my leg, Brainworm?
Brai. A very good leg, master Stephen; but the woollen stocking
does not commend it so well.
Step. Foh! the stockings be good enough, now summer is coming on,
for the dust: I'll have a pair of silk against winter, that I go to
dwell in the town. I think my leg would shew in a silk hose—
Brai. Believe me, master Stephen, rarely well.
Step. In sadness, I think it would: I have a reasonable good leg.
Brai. You have an excellent good leg, master Stephen; but I can not
stay to praise it longer now, and I am very sorry for it.
[Exit.
Step. Another time will serve, Brainworm. Gramercy for this.
E. Know. Ha, ha, ha.
Step. 'Slid, I hope he laughs not at me; an he do—
E. Know. Here was a letter indeed, to be intercepted by a man's
father, and do him good with him! He cannot but think most
virtuously, both of me, and the sender, sure, that make the careful
costermonger of him in our familiar epistles. Well, if he read this
with patience I'll be gelt, and troll ballads for master John
Trundle yonder, the rest of my mortality. It is true, and likely,
my father may have as much patience as another man, for he takes
much physic; and oft taking physic makes a man very patient. But
would your packet, master Wellbred, had arrived at him in such a
minute of his patience! then we had known the end of it, which now
is doubtful, and threatens—[Sees Master Stephen.] What, my wise
cousin! nay, then I'll furnish our feast with one gull more toward
the mess. He writes to me of a brace, and here's one, that's three:
oh, for a fourth, Fortune, if ever thou' It use thine eyes, I
entreat thee—
Step. Oh, now I see who he laughed at: he laughed at somebody in
that letter. By this good light, an he had laughed at me—
E. Know. How now, cousin Stephen, melancholy?
Step. Yes, a little: I thought you had laughed at me, cousin.
E. Know. Why, what an I had, coz? what would you have done?
Step. By this light, I would have told mine uncle.
E. Know. Nay, if you would have told your uncle, I did laugh at
you, coz.
Step. Did you, indeed?
E. Know. Yes, indeed.
Step. Why then
E. Know. What then?
Step. I am satisfied; it is sufficient.
E. Know. Why, be so, gentle coz: and, I pray you, let me entreat a
courtesy of you. I am sent for this morning by a friend in the Old
Jewry, to come to him; it is but crossing over the fields to
Moorgate: Will you bear me company? I protest it is not to draw you
into bond or any plot against the state, coz.
Step. Sir, that's all one an it were; you shall command me twice so
far as Moorgate, to do you good in such a matter. Do you think I
would leave you? I protest—
E. Know. No, no, you shall not protest, coz.
Step. By my fackings, but I will, by your leave:—I'll protest more
to my friend, than I'll speak of at this time.
E. Know. You speak very well, coz.
Step. Nay, not so neither, you shall pardon me: but I speak to
serve my turn.
E. Know. Your turn, coz! do you know what you say? A gentleman
of your sorts, parts, carriage, and estimation, to talk of your
turn in this company, and to me alone, like a tankard-bearer
at a conduit! fie! A wight that, hitherto, his every step
hath left the stamp of a great foot behind him, as every word
the savour of a strong spirit, and he! this man! so graced, gilded,
or, to use a more fit metaphor, so tenfold by nature, as not ten
housewives' pewter, again a good time, shews more bright to the
world than he! and he! (as I said last, so I say again, and still
shall say it) this man! to conceal such real ornaments as these,
and shadow their glory, as a milliner's wife does her wrought
stomacher, with a smoaky lawn, or a black cyprus! O, coz! it cannot
be answered; go not about it: Drake's old ship at Deptford may
sooner circle the world again. Come, wrong not the quality of your
desert, with looking downward, coz; but hold up your head, so: and
let the idea of what you are be portrayed in your face, that men
may read in your physnomy, here within this place is to be seen the
true, rare, and accomplished monster, or miracle of nature, which
is all one. What think you of this, coz?
Step. Why, I do think of it: and I will be more proud, and
melancholy, and gentlemanlike, than I have been, I'll insure you.
E. Know. Why, that's resolute, master Stephen!—Now, if I can but
hold him up to his height, as it is happily begun, it will do well
for a suburb humour: we may hap have a match with the city, and
play him for forty pound.—Come, coz.
Step. I'll follow you.
E. Know. Follow me! you must go before.
Step. Nay, an I must, I will. Pray you shew me, good cousin.
[Exeunt.
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